a choice we make every day

“Joy is not the same as happiness.  We can be unhappy about many things, but joy can still be there because it comes from the kmowledge of God’s love for us.  We are inclined to think that when we are sad, we cannot be glad, but in the life of a God-centered person, sorrow and joy can exist together….Joy does not simple happen to us.  We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.  It is a choice based on the knowledge that we belong to God and have found in God our refuge and our safety and that nothing, not even death, can take God away from us.”  Henri Nouwen

I selected this reading to challenge myself as I struggle through the throes of a nasty cold—seven days and I am still in a continuing low fever, an off and on cough, a sore throat.  The doctor has seen me and I have an antibiotic, I am drinking lots of liquids, resting/sleeping/staying home, praying. So far, nothing has suddenly changed, and I really do not expect to.  I know I must wait patiently upon the Lord. Yet I realize I am still so wrapped up in myself, not God.  I want to be well and have my “old” life back. Exactly what God will never give me. Nouwen’s prayer is so appropriate:  “let me die to the desire to choose my own way and select my own desire. You do not want to make me a hero, but a servant who loves you.”

Milford_Track, Clinton_river_NZ